Is anybody out there still?

I have no idea where the time goes. I also wonder if anyone is actually reading these ramblings! The summer has now come to an end here. We spent a lot of it holed up avoiding the heat. The kids were pretty bored even though I tried to keep them entertained by things like Farm Camp and Cooking camp. The family purse couldn't afford weekly camps but we tried to keep things interesting as best we could. Most of the summer was dedicated to renovations in our house. Some for pleasure, some as repairs. I took a few pictures of our master bath before we started and am waiting to put some finishing touches up on it before I show a comparison.

School has started now. MJ is in the 1st grade. He's enjoying the energy of his young teacher. We're hoping he'll make some strong bonds this year. He's started baseball and continues cub scouts (anyone want popcorn?? Haha). Annabelle is back in the swing of dancing (just not swing dancing). She's a natural and I can't wait (ok, I don't want to rush things but I love watching her) till their spring program so she can show everyone what she's learned. She's also on a soccer team and does about as well as MJ did. If anyone doesn't remember MJ playing soccer just know that the term play is used loosely. Finley is just beautiful and so sweet. She smiles all the time and now that smile sports 3 beautiful white baby teeth....yes, 3...we're waiting on the second of her top teeth. She knows her name, loves to pull hair, and doesn't sleep through the night. Did I say how cute she is??? Someone remind me of that at 3 am!

I feel like when I come on here I have so much to catch up on that I can't just pop on for funny stories. I will try to be better as the year continues. It's much more enjoyable to blog if I know someone is reading. If you do make a habit of reading my blog, please post a comment. I'd like to know who's out there.

Ok, that's it for now. I know that pictures are what everyone enjoys most so I'll try to get some up here too.

I blog in my head.

I just need a transcriber.

I can't say how many times I'm in the middle of life when in my mind I'm coming up with a blog title and text to describe the moment I'm involved in. It's been a while since I actually posted but in my head I probably have logged 10-20 new posts since the last time I got to type one out. And as Mommy Brain would have it I can't really even remember what it was I was going to post about.

Well here's one.

Poetry

Last weekend I was given the unique opportunity to spend nearly a full day and night alone just Fin and I. I hadn't realized when I was alone with just MJ as a baby, how easy it is to get along. I was afraid of being out in public when he'd wake in his infant carrier and I'd actually have to take him out. I tried to plan everything I did around his feedings, heaven forbid I'd have to nurse in public (still not a fan, but the front seat of the car does just fine). I realize now having Fin that back then my days were centered around trying to get MJ quieted so I could put him down. I find my days now are trying to get the house quieted so I can pick Fin up! So when this chance to be alone with Finley came along I jumped at it. Well, it wasn't so much me jumping as Mike and the other two who all got to go to Cub Scout Camp (a new blog post should follow about this). Fin and I spent the day shopping. She got some new outfits at Target. And I enjoyed being able to sip my Starbucks while pushing my cart, not having to chase anyone down or be bombarded with requests to buy stuff and then dealing with the "why?" when I say no. It was so peaceful and rejuvenating. When we got home from our shopping trip Fin and I decided (she speaks to me:)) to hit the beach. Another glaring difference between having just Fin and having just MJ made me laugh to myself. I remembered the first time both Mike and I took MJ for a walk on the beach. We had prepared for every contingency. Blankets, diapers, wipes, new outfits, bottles, pacifiers, burp cloths, the list was unending as was the luggage. We looked, well...like new parents. As I walked with Fin armed only with my nursing cover which doubled as a blanket to cover her bare feet I ran into a man and his grandkids. We struck up a conversation and he looked at me and said, "So she's your 3rd? Does your husband have the other two?" In fact this question was a bit strange but he'd guessed by the lack of stuff dangling from my shoulders that Fin was not an only child! As Fin and I walked I blogged in my head, as I so often do. I tried to figure out what to call my blog about our peaceful walk on the beach. The word that popped into my head was Poetry. If I was a poet our walk would have been easy to write a poem about. Without having to come up with words to describe the moment, and only needing to live it, indeed it felt like poetry. It calmed my head, spoke to my heart, and lifted my spirits. I wish I was capable of capturing our walk in words. Sitting in the sand, holding my sleeping baby, listening to the water, watching the waves. I decided as I was there that I need to find ways to have poetic moments with all my kids. A time when we don't correct, yell, tense up. A time when we are just free to let the water crash onto the shore and rush us, and instead of running away, embrace it, getting wet with life. Ok, so maybe I have a little poet in me. But seriously, I need to figure out how to get wet with life and not rush to change my clothes.

So there, I blog in my head. Should I leave them there? :)

Good Sports

My family is full of good sports. They have a wife/mother who is absolutely insane about capturing every teeny tiny detail of Finley as a newborn. They've endured the living room being turned into a photo studio, being positioned on this rug, no this throw, no this floor in an effort to capture the most amazing image. They've strapped an 8 foot long piece of paneling to the roof of a minivan and driven it with arms out the window trying to stabilize this giant prop against the wind as it pounds the roof of the car. They've endured being pooped and peed on and last but not least the psychotic moments I've had when the perfect image eludes me...or so I think. So after the millions of pictures taken I look on the laptop to see what I've got...and there it is...my family...the 5 of us, all healthy, happy and amazingly enough, looking at the camera and smiling. Here are some of my "perfect" images.

Welcoming Finley Claire to the family

On Friday, March 19 at 10:07 Finley Claire Zaiko entered the world. She weighed 7 pounds 4 oz and was 19 inches long. I had a c-section and we were released to go home on Sunday morning. The whole family is madly in love and Finley is doing great. We've yet to spend a night in our bed as the recovery from a c-sec is much easier in a plush leather rocker/recliner with ottoman, thanks Mom and Dad! I think my body print is already etched into the chair!

I think Finley will be our last baby so it's been a bit bittersweet. As I waited for the surgery to begin I took one final moment to savor being pregnant and thanked the Lord for blessing my womb with this child. I get overwhelmed with emotion every time I return to that moment. I was again brought to tears only moments later when I heard the sound of Finley's cry. I feel so fortunate and rich to have these 3 amazing children and have been saying my thanks for them many times a day.

So I'll just finish this post with some pictures of the first days of Miss Finley's life outside my body, most of which has been spent laying on me so we're both separating slowly!

Much more to come!

Tick Tock...

So now it is only a matter of days before I'm a mother of 3. I can't believe 9 months has passed and yet I feel so completely unprepared for the changes that are coming. With less than 2 weeks before we get to meet our second daughter I'm struggling with mixed emotions. I doubt they are anything that is unique to me. Up until about 2 weeks ago I was moving along just fine. No pregnancy related issues as far as my physical comfort goes. All that has changed now. Seems I can't make it 30 minutes without needing to use the bathroom. Her head is so low in my pelvis now transitioning from sitting to standing is quite painful and difficult. My back aches, I don't sleep well, blah blah blah. And even with all of those "reasons" to be happy for this pregnancy to be over I feel overwhelmed by the "reasons" to want it to continue. I love my body. Ok, I know that sounds so crazy. It must be a third time around thing because I didn't feel this way before. But I have 3 people who look at my belly in complete awe. I will miss how MJ asks me if he can feel Barky. I'll miss Annabelle getting excited any time my belly is exposed wanting to talk to her sister and send her kisses through my belly button. I'll miss how she peacefully lays her head on my stomach and I can see her being bounced around by the baby on the inside but she just keeps her head there, relaxing, bonding with her sister. And Mike...I love how amazed he is by the awesome thing my body can do. Watching him watch me makes me feel so good. I'll miss all of these things. And I'll miss waking up to the wiggles of the life inside of me. The hiccups she gets about 4 times a day. The direct hits to my hipbones that make me jump, squirm and sometimes yelp not from pain but just from the odd feeling of something connecting with my bones without the padding provided by my skin, fat, muscle (I'm giving myself a little credit here! LOL). Besides worrying and praying for my health and the health of the baby, I love being pregnant...I didn't realize that because sometimes all of that worry gets in the way of enjoying the moment. But I have been so blessed and fortunate to be able to carry 3 beautiful babies. And even though I have so many things I'm going to miss I know from experience how much I have to look forward to. I can't wait to see my daughter's face for the first time. Smell her breath and skin, listen to her crackly baby sounds, watch my other two kids become big brother (again) and big sister, watch Mike hold her in his arms and see how quickly he transforms into the most gentle man as he looks at his baby girl. So as I sit here, 9 months pregnant, 9 months after Mike returned home from deployment, in a situation I NEVER dreamed I'd be in I'm thankful. I'm thankful for my life. I'm thankful for my husband. I'm thankful for the children that God has trusted me with.

So when ever you are ready baby girl, we'll be here, "with arms wide open."

Mike's return home

I got word last Wednesday evening that Mike would be flying home Thursday afternoon. Having earned a little salt on my apron (haha, I made that up in an e-mail to Mike the other day and I like my expression) I knew better than to tell the kids because that would ensure a delayed or cancelled flight. My silence bought us a 45 minute early landing. As we drove on base MJ quizzed me on why we were there. I had kept his homecoming a secret until then. Annabelle made a guess, "Daddy's all done and we're here to pick him up!" A smile tugged at MJ's lips as he tried not to get excited at the unconfirmed suspicion of his wise little sister. But when I told him she was right both of them were little balls of excitement. We were lead out to the hangar where the doors were wide open to the planes as they landed and were directed to park. MJ and Annabelle patiently waited as Mike's plane was the second of two to return. I had told the kids to stay behind the metal grate on the ground (you can see in the following pictures) but as Mike approached the hangar the excitement got to be too much for them and they both ran out to greet him. We're all happy to be together again. We spent about an hour going through pictures that Mike had taken of his time there. He didn't leave untouched by the disaster that struck Haiti as he became quite emotional talking about the orphaned children he saw boarding jets on their way to new countries and new homes. Once again I'm reminded of how blessed I am to have my home, my children, and my loving husband.

Snow storm!

The kids woke this morning to the site of snow, a first for them here in VA. Annabelle was very excited that the snow came to us (instead of having to drive to it) and said it was, "Aaammmaaazing!" It's not ideal play conditions, it's been pretty windy and the snow is pretty wet. But we bundled up and headed out anyway. They had a good time, Annabelle's good time was on and off, and we spent about an hour outside, maybe not quite that long. Here are some pictures from our quick outdoor adventure. I think that's enough exposure for me and perhaps Annabelle. I suspect MJ may want to go out again tomorrow. We'll see. For now they are vegging on the couch watching Pixar Short films and keeping warm.

Oh and MJ lost his top front tooth! It is the same one he smacked in RI around Christmas time and the dentist said it had about 3 months max to stay in his mouth. He kept it for 2 years! He looks super cute with it gone, but even better he sounds adorable with his lisp compounded by the missing tooth!

Annabelle was Army crawling in the yard. Not sure why, but she enjoyed it!
This was my favorite set of pics of the day. Leave it to the boy to do something this cute and funny!