Tick Tock...

So now it is only a matter of days before I'm a mother of 3. I can't believe 9 months has passed and yet I feel so completely unprepared for the changes that are coming. With less than 2 weeks before we get to meet our second daughter I'm struggling with mixed emotions. I doubt they are anything that is unique to me. Up until about 2 weeks ago I was moving along just fine. No pregnancy related issues as far as my physical comfort goes. All that has changed now. Seems I can't make it 30 minutes without needing to use the bathroom. Her head is so low in my pelvis now transitioning from sitting to standing is quite painful and difficult. My back aches, I don't sleep well, blah blah blah. And even with all of those "reasons" to be happy for this pregnancy to be over I feel overwhelmed by the "reasons" to want it to continue. I love my body. Ok, I know that sounds so crazy. It must be a third time around thing because I didn't feel this way before. But I have 3 people who look at my belly in complete awe. I will miss how MJ asks me if he can feel Barky. I'll miss Annabelle getting excited any time my belly is exposed wanting to talk to her sister and send her kisses through my belly button. I'll miss how she peacefully lays her head on my stomach and I can see her being bounced around by the baby on the inside but she just keeps her head there, relaxing, bonding with her sister. And Mike...I love how amazed he is by the awesome thing my body can do. Watching him watch me makes me feel so good. I'll miss all of these things. And I'll miss waking up to the wiggles of the life inside of me. The hiccups she gets about 4 times a day. The direct hits to my hipbones that make me jump, squirm and sometimes yelp not from pain but just from the odd feeling of something connecting with my bones without the padding provided by my skin, fat, muscle (I'm giving myself a little credit here! LOL). Besides worrying and praying for my health and the health of the baby, I love being pregnant...I didn't realize that because sometimes all of that worry gets in the way of enjoying the moment. But I have been so blessed and fortunate to be able to carry 3 beautiful babies. And even though I have so many things I'm going to miss I know from experience how much I have to look forward to. I can't wait to see my daughter's face for the first time. Smell her breath and skin, listen to her crackly baby sounds, watch my other two kids become big brother (again) and big sister, watch Mike hold her in his arms and see how quickly he transforms into the most gentle man as he looks at his baby girl. So as I sit here, 9 months pregnant, 9 months after Mike returned home from deployment, in a situation I NEVER dreamed I'd be in I'm thankful. I'm thankful for my life. I'm thankful for my husband. I'm thankful for the children that God has trusted me with.

So when ever you are ready baby girl, we'll be here, "with arms wide open."