I blog in my head.

I just need a transcriber.

I can't say how many times I'm in the middle of life when in my mind I'm coming up with a blog title and text to describe the moment I'm involved in. It's been a while since I actually posted but in my head I probably have logged 10-20 new posts since the last time I got to type one out. And as Mommy Brain would have it I can't really even remember what it was I was going to post about.

Well here's one.

Poetry

Last weekend I was given the unique opportunity to spend nearly a full day and night alone just Fin and I. I hadn't realized when I was alone with just MJ as a baby, how easy it is to get along. I was afraid of being out in public when he'd wake in his infant carrier and I'd actually have to take him out. I tried to plan everything I did around his feedings, heaven forbid I'd have to nurse in public (still not a fan, but the front seat of the car does just fine). I realize now having Fin that back then my days were centered around trying to get MJ quieted so I could put him down. I find my days now are trying to get the house quieted so I can pick Fin up! So when this chance to be alone with Finley came along I jumped at it. Well, it wasn't so much me jumping as Mike and the other two who all got to go to Cub Scout Camp (a new blog post should follow about this). Fin and I spent the day shopping. She got some new outfits at Target. And I enjoyed being able to sip my Starbucks while pushing my cart, not having to chase anyone down or be bombarded with requests to buy stuff and then dealing with the "why?" when I say no. It was so peaceful and rejuvenating. When we got home from our shopping trip Fin and I decided (she speaks to me:)) to hit the beach. Another glaring difference between having just Fin and having just MJ made me laugh to myself. I remembered the first time both Mike and I took MJ for a walk on the beach. We had prepared for every contingency. Blankets, diapers, wipes, new outfits, bottles, pacifiers, burp cloths, the list was unending as was the luggage. We looked, well...like new parents. As I walked with Fin armed only with my nursing cover which doubled as a blanket to cover her bare feet I ran into a man and his grandkids. We struck up a conversation and he looked at me and said, "So she's your 3rd? Does your husband have the other two?" In fact this question was a bit strange but he'd guessed by the lack of stuff dangling from my shoulders that Fin was not an only child! As Fin and I walked I blogged in my head, as I so often do. I tried to figure out what to call my blog about our peaceful walk on the beach. The word that popped into my head was Poetry. If I was a poet our walk would have been easy to write a poem about. Without having to come up with words to describe the moment, and only needing to live it, indeed it felt like poetry. It calmed my head, spoke to my heart, and lifted my spirits. I wish I was capable of capturing our walk in words. Sitting in the sand, holding my sleeping baby, listening to the water, watching the waves. I decided as I was there that I need to find ways to have poetic moments with all my kids. A time when we don't correct, yell, tense up. A time when we are just free to let the water crash onto the shore and rush us, and instead of running away, embrace it, getting wet with life. Ok, so maybe I have a little poet in me. But seriously, I need to figure out how to get wet with life and not rush to change my clothes.

So there, I blog in my head. Should I leave them there? :)